Hey! welcome back!

The most immediate advice I can give you is don't kill anyone and don't runaway.

With that said, I basically agree with a lot of the stuff you said... money doesn't matter as much as people will lead you to believe, and neither does school. I don't know if your parents are up for it or what the regulations are like where you live but the GED is really a good alternative and middle ground between finishing school and running away. I got one and I'm doing ok. I don't live in a cardboard box at least.

I can tell you from experience that running away from home will make your problems go away, but the problems that replace them are definitely worse. Being cold and hungry is no joke, you also start getting bitter and hateful really quick, and you eventually realize that you were more free when you were in school than you are on the streets or in a squat, where you are constantly being picked on by police.

I don't think leaving this country will help. First of all, America's just as fucked up as most of the other first-world countries and you definitely won't be happy hopping on a plane to a third-world country. I think the worst thing about America is how it exploits and destroys other countries to make itself rich, but if you're looking to escape from authority, money and oppression it's too late - the whole world's been poisoned.

Anyway, I had a similar set of ideas in my head a while ago and I ended up getting sent to a really fucked up place for a year and a half, so keep in mind that it can always get worse... i guess that's not that comforting, but make sure it doesn't happen to you.

On a positive note, you don't have that much more school to get through (I don't know what grade you're in but if you're going to college counseling you must be pretty far) and college is your decision, not your parents'. There's stuff you can do with philosophy and theology to make money, and even if there's not, you can work shitty jobs every couple of months until you figure out something else. A lot of kids do that - I do that. It's not as expensive to live as your parents make it out to be, what's gets expensive is if you decide to have a family.

If it's possible, I would go the route of proving to your parents that what you want to do is important and that you really care about it. If they really can't see past the financial thing, then oh well. They should support you.

I'd also recommend deferment if you want to see what it's like living without school or parents. You're close enough to being 18 to not have to run away. I hated hitch hiking when I did it, cause you gotta stand on highways surrounded by SUVs and pickup trucks and pass thru all these fucking strip malls all the time, state troopers yell at you, you gotta sleep in a bunch of bushes and get eaten by mosquitoes... take all the shit you hate about america and compress it into one activity and you get hitch hiking. Squatting's not bad if you have electricity and stuff, but not having heat sucks and chances are you'll get evicted.

I'm not saying don't do that stuff, it's important to explore, but don't be fooled by Days of War, Nights of Love and against me! lyrics, there's definitely tons of bullshit waiting for you for any kind of lifestyle you choose, so be prepared.

I guess my advice is just get through high school, or get a GED, defer for a year, see what your life ends up like, decide if you even need college at all, then do whatever you like. I know it's not that simple, but that's the best I got without really understanding that much about your situation.

even though yr feeling pissed and crappy.
I've felt the same ways before and thought through many of the same options that you're considering right now. In my case, my parents (especially my mom) were pushing me real hard to go to college. I had some pretty different ideas about what i wanted to do after high school, sitting in classrooms for 4 yrs was at the bottom of the list.

My mom pushed and pushed and did a lot of work on the application process, and i ended up getting accepted to the CUNY Honors College, a pretty prestigious program that offered free tuition. I'd have to be crazy to not take that, right? I deferred for a year and did the above mentioned squatting and hitchiking and all that, then crunch time came when i couldn't put it off any longer. I wrote my mom this 9 page letter detailing the kind of life i wanted to live and how college and traditional employment wouldn't fulfill those things.She didn't really acknowledge it. So september came and i started riding my bike up to hunter college everyday feeling like a trapped outcast. I'd get into accidents on my way to school and be bleeding in class and shit. i definitely did not fit in. I spent every available minute working on the misled youth network. I started skipping class, and within two months i'd dropped out.

All the adults in my life were shocked and disappointed. At times i doubted myself too. But at this point i think i am moving closer to my goals that i would be as a college student. What i learned is this: You can make someone do something, but if that person doesn't see the value in it, it will ultimately fail. Perhaps it was a good opportunity, but it was at a bad time, externally imposed, and it couldn't work.

As far as you completing high school, it seems to me that you might as well, because yr only a few months away. (you are a senior, right?) I know how much it sucks though. i might not have ever graduated HS if i hadn't ended up transferring to a cool alternative school where i ended up doing really well. The GED is also legit, though it might not be any less time and energy that completing school.

But the bigger question is what you'll do afterwards. Misled Youth is all about creating alternatives and thus having control over yr life. In your case, this may mean trying to envision how yr interests in philosophy, religion, art, etc can manifest into a real life for you. There's a saying, "If you don't plan ahead, then you plan to fail". So having yr own plans will give you the strength to not be controlled by the plans of others. I think that asking for a year off before you look into colleges and really making the most of that year would be wise. Try studying on yr own. Try traveling. try working. Ideally, to really prove that you're on top of your shit, you'd be financially independent.I don't know how hard that is in a smaller town with less opportunities. I know that in my case being financially independent gave me a lot more freedom, including the freedom to make my own mistakes.

So those are some thoughts for now, I am happy to discuss this more and support you however I can.

--sarah

Have you talked about the GED with your parents? What's their reaction?

When I learned about the GED, I made up a proposal to my parents: I would drop out, get the GED, and start college a year early. The agreed, after not taking me seriously for years about wanting to drop out. Anyway... I haven't finished college, but I'm really glad I dropped out of HS and got some experience of it.

Once you're 18, what you do is your choice. In the meantime, if you could convince them, maybe college would be better than high school?

Anyway, good luck figuring something out. Keep us posted.